I feel like I've lost my ability to commit to something small, as in any small project. I have all these massive projects in the wings that are just overwhelming to look at and, while not a time-sink, are going to take a lot of time. I want to make a small game, write a small story, code a small project, or do anything small, and I'm absolutely failing at it. I said for 2024, I wasn't going to pick up any new projects, and for the most part, I have been successful, but in the same vein, the lingering projects from previous years are all massive. Now, mind you, I have made some strides to get rid of a lot of the project scope creep that snuck into those projects - like making High Metropoly always be designed for solo play and then also rolling a lot of the overlapping design choices for the various Neo Cities Chronicle games into one another rather than having them separate, more on that in a future update.
But those are all big projects. It's not magus opus "Look Ma We Made It," my VN VR Rhythm game project, but it's not something I can sit down and knock out in a month's projects either. And I high-key hate it. I thought about going back to my B6 micro games format to just knock something out of one of those games, but when I look at what I already made in that series, I just think I should redo most, if not all, of those games to give them more structure and a better foundation because as a game designer, I've grown and while I don't cringe at my previous works I definitely think 2024 me can do a much better job at them. This again leads back to the, I want to start and finish a small project, but I have no small project ideas. Rather, all the ideas I have seem like big convoluted projects, and I don't have it in me to trim them down to something under 10,000 words. But in spite of this, I want to spend July figuring that out, going through all my open projects - of which I have many - and creating a project plan for each and every one of them. Partly to do some serious project management skill speed running because if I have learned anything from this extended snit of unemployment is that I don't actually have any crossover skills to not film/post-production related jobs, and that also sucks. But also because I say I'm someone who likes project management, but I have nothing to back that statement up. I want to rectify that, and what better way to do that than with my own wildly out-of-hand projects?
All of this is a long way to say I'm going to be going over all the projects that I have in Obsidian and coming up with the bare minimum project plan outline for them so I can figure out exactly what projects I have that can be pruned into small projects and then completed within a small 30/31 day time span. In retrospect, I realized a lot of my big plans aren't massive but relatively small to medium plans that got taken over by scope creep. I need to get them back under control before I can realistically do anything. I'm trapped in a hellscape of my own doing in the form of scope creep leading to indecisiveness, and I want out of this place for the back half of 2024, please, and thank you.
So please look forward to that in July, as well as some other things that I can't talk about just yet because I need to ruminate on them some more. While I am normally in the "I have to talk about it to make it real" camp, there are things that are just too fragile right now to handle, and I don't want them to break, so I'm just going to keep them to myself for right now.